The Turkey, The Trap, and The True Light
Why guilt shouldn't stop you coming home for Christmas (A reflection on reconciliation)
The Turkey, The Trap, and The True Light
I don’t know about you, but I am feeling incredibly reflective right now. It has been a season of, well, a lot. Complicated situations, exhausting weeks, and that general hum of busyness that seems to ramp up the closer we get to the 25th of December.
But, as I sit here writing this, staring down the barrel of a two-week Christmas break, I am finally starting to feel a sense of peace settling in. It’s not necessarily that all the problems have vanished, but I am feeling more at ease with it all. I am ready to clear the cache of my mind, shut down the tabs in my brain, and focus more on Jesus.
I say that with the best of intentions, but if I’m being honest—and that’s what we do here on The Unfinished Walk—my “focusing on Jesus” recently has been a bit… scattered.
You know how it goes. I start to pray. I sit down, close my eyes, and say, “Father...” and then, three seconds later, I’m wondering if I remembered to buy Brussels sprouts, or I’m replaying a conversation from three days ago, or I just don’t know what to say, so I say nothing.
However, this evening, I managed to push through the noise. I finished meditating with the Lectio 365 evening reflection (if you don’t use it, I highly recommend it). The scripture was 1 John 2:8b, and it hit me right between the eyes:
“For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining.”
1 John 2:8 (NLT)
I then went straight to Spotify to listen to some worship music, and the lyrics of “It Is Well” washed over me. Between that ancient scripture and those timeless lyrics, something shifted. Light, peace, and faith began to displace the bad dreams and the hard times. I was reminded that I have a God who delivers.
But getting to that point of peace? That has been a battle. And I think the enemy’s biggest weapon in that battle has been a very sticky, very subtle trap called guilt.
The Guilt Trap
I have been feeling a little “off” lately. Although I have sort of been praying, I certainly haven’t been reading my Bible as much as I should. I haven’t been seeking Jesus with the hunger I know I should have.
So, when I finally sat down to pray this evening, my opening gambit was an apology. “Lord, I am sorry I haven’t sought You more today. I’m sorry I put barriers in the way.”
Now, confession is good. But what often follows confession for me—and maybe for you, too—is a lingering sense of guilt that actually stops me from coming back sooner.
It’s a strange paradox. I feel bad that I haven’t spent time with God. That bad feeling makes me feel unworthy. Because I feel unworthy, I think, “Well, He won’t want to listen to me now. He won’t care. He might not even show up.”
I start to hear voices whispering familiar lies: “You’re not good enough.”“You don’t deserve God’s love.”“You don’t deserve His forgiveness, grace, or mercy.”“You call yourself a Christian, but you haven’t opened your Bible in three days?”
Here is the kicker: That voice is technically right.
I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve God’s love. I certainly don’t earn His mercy. If it were down to my performance, I’d be out in the cold.
But that is not who God is. And that is not how Grace works.
The Difference Between Conviction and Condemnation
I have come to a conclusion recently. When I feel that heavy, stomach-churning guilt that makes me want to hide from God, that is not God telling me off.
That is the Deceiver.
Think about it in terms of human relationships. Let’s say you have a disagreement with your significant other. You’ve done something to upset them. You have two ways of reacting:
The Shame Spiral: You feel guilty. You feel like a terrible partner. You think, “They must hate me.” So, you withdraw. You go into another room. You avoid eye contact. The distance between you grows not because they are pushing you away, but because your guilt is building a wall.
The Reconciliation: You feel a prick of conscience (conviction). You realise you messed up. You go straight to them and say, “I am so sorry, I got that wrong. I want to be close to you.”
God is not human, but the principle of relationship holds true. God does not use guilt to push you away. He uses conviction to draw you close.
Satan—the Accuser—wants to use your lack of prayer to keep you from praying. He wants to use your failure to read the Bible to keep the Bible closed. He wants you to feel so bad about your distance from God that you maintain the distance.
God, on the other hand, says this:
“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1 (NLT)
If you are hearing a voice that says, “You are rubbish, stay away,” tell it to shush. That is not the Shepherd’s voice. If you are feeling guilty, don’t let it fester.
Come straight to God. Don’t clean yourself up first. Just say, “I am sorry, I want to spend time with You now.”
Call out the lie. Remind yourself (and the enemy) that your standing with God is based on Jesus’ performance, not yours.
It is okay to know you want to spend time with God but haven’t managed it. It is okay to feel a bit sad about that. But do not let that sadness become a detractor. Do not let it be the thing that stops you from reconnecting.
The Turkey and The Truce
This brings me to Christmas.
I am genuinely looking forward to the next two weeks. I have time off work, and I am ready for some downtime. Of course, “family” is a loaded word at this time of year, isn’t it?
Family is important. Family is beautiful. But family is also… complicated.
For some, Christmas is a time of noise and chaos. For others, it’s a time where the silence is a little louder, and we are acutely aware of who isn’t at the table. We all have those little nuances, the history, the dynamics that play out over the roast potatoes.
But despite the complications—and sometimes the sadness—I am learning to find the joy in the moments we do have.
And then, of course, there is Buckley.
If there is one creature in our house who understands nothing of guilt and everything about opportunity, it is my dog. Buckley is going to enjoy the fuss of the family, soaking up the attention. But I also know, with 100% certainty, that he will be ignoring my commands even more than usual.
Why? Because of the lure of the turkey.
He knows that in the chaos of Christmas dinner, with family laughing and crackers pulling, there is a high probability of a “turkey cast-off.” A piece of meat dropping to the floor, or perhaps a sympathetic auntie slipping him a morsel under the table. Buckley doesn’t let the guilt of being a “bad dog” who ignores commands stop him from seeking the reward. He has his eyes on the prize.
Perhaps we could learn a little from him. We shouldn’t let our past disobedience stop us from coming to the Master’s table to be fed.
The Season of Reconciliation
I guess what I am trying to say, meandering through my thoughts on guilt and dogs, is this: Don’t let things detract you from the hope of reconnection.
Whether it is with loved ones, friends, family, or your God—don’t let pride or guilt keep you isolated this Christmas.
We celebrate Christmas because the Lord is the God of Reconciliation.
“For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:19 (NLT)
He didn’t wait for us to be “good enough.” He broke through the darkness with the True Light to reconcile us to Himself.
And because He did that, we can hold onto hope for our own relationships. Even the ones that feel broken beyond repair. Even the ones where we are waiting for the phone to ring. The story isn’t over yet.
A Prayer for the Reconnecting Heart
So, as we head into this break, I want to pray for you.
I want to pray for all those who need reconciliation this Christmas. Perhaps you need it with a family member where things have been frosty. Perhaps you need it with a friend. Or perhaps, like me this week, you need it with God—even if you aren’t quite sure yet if He is listening.
Maybe your heart has hardened a little. Sometimes our hearts harden not because we are angry, but because we feel guilty. We feel bad that our actions have caused distance, so we put up a shell to protect ourselves from the shame.
I want to pray that those shells are removed.
Let’s pray together:
Father God,
Thank You that the darkness is disappearing and the True Light is already shining.
Lord, for every person reading this who feels “off” or unworthy, I ask that You silence the voice of the Accuser. Remind them that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
I pray for reconciliation. Where there are broken relationships in our families, bring healing. For those parents waiting for a child to come home, or children waiting for a parent, we ask for a miracle of softened hearts. Give us the strength to keep the door open and the lamp burning.
Where there is distance between us and You, bring us running back. Help us to enjoy this season, to hold our loved ones close, and to rest.
A final thought for the week: If you find yourself distracted in prayer this week, don’t beat yourself up. Just smile, say “Sorry Lord, I’m back,” and keep going. He’s just glad you’re there.
Merry Christmas, everyone.